Transmigration of Dexter to Dragonfly
Dexter's Contexture ~ The Array of Threads that Weave
the Fabric of this Vision ~ Homespun by the Darning Need
le

 

“A PICKLE FOR THE KNOWING ONES;

or Plain Truths in a Homespun Dress”

by the late Lord Timothy Dexter

Home ~ Folio 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4
View Folio 1 as "Split Pickle" ~ original text/translation

 

Lord Dexter relates how he was created Lord by the People, announces his intention of forming a Museum of great men, that shall be the wonder of the world, and shall confound his enemies.

IME the first Lord in the younited States of A mericary Now of Newburyport it is the voise of the peopel and I cant Help it and so Let it goue Now as I must be Lord there will foller many more Lords pretty soune for it dont hurt A Cat Nor the mouse Nor the son Nor the water Nor the Eare then goue on all is Easey Now bons broaken all is well all in Love Now I be gin to Lay the corner ston and the kee ston with grat Remembrence of my father Jorge Washington the grate herow 17 sentreys past before we found so good a father to his shildren and Now gone to Rest1 Now to shoue my Love to my father and grate Caricters I will shoue the world one of the grate Wonders of the world in 15 months if now man mourders me in Dors or out Dors such A mouserum on Earth will annonce O Lord thou knowest to be troue fourder hear me good Lord I am A goueing to Let or shildren know Now to see good Lord what has bin in the world grat wase back to owr forefathers Not old plimeth but stop to Addom & Eave to shoue 45 figures2 two Leged and fore Leged because we Cant Doue weel with our four Leged in the first plase they are our foude in the Next plase to make out Dexters mouseum I want 4 Lions to defend thous grat and mistry men from East to wist from North to South which Now are at the plases Rased the Lam is not Readey in short meater if agreabel I form a good and peasabel government on my Land in Newburyport Compleat I taks 3 presedents hamsher govenor all to Noue york and the grate mister John Jay is one, that maks 2 in that state the king of grat britton mister pitt Roufes kins Cros over to france Loues the 16 and then the grate bonnepartey the grate and their segnetoure Crow biddey3 --- I Command pease and the gratest brotherly love and not fade be Linked to gether with that best of troue love so as to govern all nasions on the fass of the gloub not to tiranize over them but to put them to order if any Despout shall A Rise as to boundreys or Any maturs of Importance it is Left france and grat britton and Amacarey to be setteled A Congress4 to be allways in france all Despouts is to be thare settled and this may be Dun this will balless power and then all wars Dun A way there-fore I have the Lam to Lay Dow with the Lion Now this may be dun if thos three powers would A geray to Lay what is called Devel one side and Not Carry the gentelman pack hors Any longer but shake him of as dust on your feet and Laff at him5 there is grate noise Aboute a toue Leged Creter he says I am going to set sade black Divel there stop he would scare the womans so there would be No youse for the bilding. I should have to erect sum Noue won Now I stop hear I puts the Devil Long with the bull for he is a bulling 2 Leged Annemal stop put him one side Near Soloman Looking with Soloman to Ladey venus Now stop wind up there is grat ods in froute I will Let you know the sekret houe you may see the Devel stand on your head before a Loucking glass and take a bibel to your bousum fast 40 owers and look in the loucking glass, there is no Devel if you dont see the ould fellow but I affirm you will see that old Devel

Unto you all mankind Com to my hous to mock and sneare whi ye Dont you Lafe be fore hevvn or I meane your betters think the heir power Dont know thorts and Axsions Now I will tell you good and bad it is not pelite to Com to see what the bare walls keep on my ground if you are gentel men you would stay Away when all is Dun in marble Expect to goue out my selfe to Help it thous grat men will send on there Likeness all over the younited States I wish all the printers would send on their Likenesses in 40 days to Timothy Dexter I mean I want the printers to give Notis if pleases to inform by printen in the Nouspapers for the good of the holl of mankind ---

I wans to make my Enemys grin in time Lik A Cat over A hot pudding and goue Away and hang there heads Doun Like a Dogg bin After sheep gilty stop see I am Afrade I Rite toue hash my peopel Complane of backker spittel maks work to Cleane it up --- in the women skouls A bout it spit in ther handkershif or not spit A tall I must say sumthing or I should say Nothing there fore make sum Noise in the world when I git so ouely6 to Nash my goms and griying for water and that is salt water when brot A young Devel to bring it and A Scoyer to wate and tend on gentlemen A black Suier his breth Smelt wos than bram stone by far but Let the Devel goue in to Darknes and take his due to Descare mankind for A Littel while this cloven foot is seen by sum but the trap will over hall the Devel in tim, I pittey this poore black man I thinc his master wants purging A Littel to har ber mr Devel A most but I did Not say Let him Run A way good Nit mr Devel Cary the sword and money with you7 take John mekel8 Jentel man good Nit

T DEXTER

 

Lord Dexter relates how he came to Fortune, by Speculations in Warming-Pans, Whalebone, Bibles, and Government Securities.

How Did Dexter Make His Money ye says bying whale bone for staing for ships in grosing three houndred & 40 tons --- bort all in boston salum and all in Noue york under Cover oppenly I told them for my ships they all laffed so I had at my oan pris I had four Counning men for Rounners thay found the horne as I told them to act the fool I was full of Cash I had nine tun of silver9 on hand at that time --- all that time the Creaters more or less laffing it spread very fast here is the Rub --- in fifty days they smelt A Rat --- found where it was gone to Nouebry Port --- spekkelators swarmed like hell houns --- to be short with it I made seventey five per sent --- one tun and halfe of silver on hand and over --- one more spect --- Drole a Nuf --- I Dreamed of worming pans three nites that thay would doue in the west inges I got no more than fortey two thousand --- put them in nine vessels for difrent ports that tuck good hold I cleared sevinty nine per sent the pans thay made yous of them for Coucking --- very good masser for Coukey --- blessed good in Deade missey got nise handel Now burn my fase the best thing I Ever see in borne days10 I found I was very luckky in spekkelation.  I Dreamed that the good book was Run Down in this countrey nine years gone so low as halfe prise and Dull at that --- the bibel I means I had the Ready Cash by holl sale I bort twelve per sent under halfe prise thay Cost fortey one sents Each bibbel --- twenty one thousand --- I put them into twentey one vessels for the west inges and sent a text that all of them must have one bibel in every familey or if not thay would goue to hell --- and if thay had Dun wiked flie to the bibel and on thare Neas and kiss the bibel three times and look up to heaven annest for forgivnes my Captteins all had Compleat order --- here Coms the good luck I made one hundred per sent & littel over then I found I had made money anuf I hant speckalated sence old time by government secourities I made or cleared forty seven thousands Dolors --- that is the old afare Now I toald the all the sekrett Now be still let me A lone Dont wonder Noe more houe I got my money boaz.11

 

Lord Dexter informs the whole World of the improvements made and contemplated about his Palace: describes his Tomb, etc.

To mankind at Large the time is Com at Last the grat day of Regoising what is that whye I will tell you thous three kings is Rased Rased you meane shoued know Rased on the first Royel Arch in the worid olmost Not quite but very hiw up upon thay are good mark to be scene so the womans Lik to see the frount and all peopel Loves to see them as the quakers will Com and peape slyly and say houe the doue frind father Jorge washeton is the senter king Addoms at the Rite hand the prssent king at the Left hand father gorge with his hat on the other hats of the middel king with his sword king Addoms with his Cane in a grand poster Adtetoude turning his fass to wards the first king as if thay was on sum politicks king our present king12 he is stands hearng being yonger and very deafe in short being one grat felosfer Looks well East & west and North & south deafe & very deafe the god of Nater has dun very much for our present king and all our former ones thay are all good I want them to Live for Ever and I beleave thay will it is hard work to be A king --- I say it is harder than tilling the ground I know it is for I find it is hard work to be A Lord I dont desier the sound but to pleas the peopel at Large Let it gou to brak the way it dus for A sort ment to help a good Lafe to Cour the sick spleney goutey dull frames Lik my selfe with the goute and so on make merry a Chealy Christon is for me only to be onnest No matter what thay worshep son monne or stars or there wife or miss if onnest Live for Ever money wont gitt thous figers so fast as I wish I have senc to Leg horn for many mr bourr is one Amonks many others I sent in the grand Crecham thous 3 kings Are plane white Leead colow at present the Royal Arch & figers cost 39 pounds wate silver the hiest Councaton order in the world so it is sade by the knowing ones13 I have only 4 Lions & 1 Lam up the spread Eagel has bin up 3 years upon the Coupalay I have 13 billors front in strat Row for 13 states when we begun 3 in Rear 15 foot hie 4 more on the grass see 2 the same hath at the Rite of the grand Arch 2 at the left wing 15 foot hie the Arch 17 foot hie the my hous is 3 sorey upwards of 290 feet Round the hous Nater has formed the ground Eaquel to a Solomun the onerbel Jonathan Jackson one of the first in this Country for tast borne a grat man by Nater then the best of Lurning what sot me fored for my plan having so gran spot the hool of the word Cant Excead this to thous that dont know would think I was Like halfe the world a Lier I have traveled good deale but old steady men sayeth it is the first that it is the first best in this Contry & others Contrey I tell you this the trouth that None of you all great men needent be A frunted at my preseadens & I spare Now Cost in the work I have the tempel of Reason in my garding 3 years past with a toume under it on the Eage of the grass see it cost 98 gineys besids the Coffen panted whit in side & out side touched with green Nobel trimings uncommon Lock so I can tak the kee in side and have fier works in the toume pipes & tobacker & A speaking trumpet and a bibel to read & sum good songs.

What is a presedent answer A king bonne partey the grat has as much power as A king & ort to have it & it is a massey he has for the good of mankind he has as much power as Any king for grat ways back there must be A head sum whare or the peopel is Lost Like wild gees when they Lous the head gander two Leged wants A head if fore Leged both & 2 Leged fouls the Name of presedent is to please the peopel at Large the sound souts best Now in the south give way the North the North give way to the south or by & by you will brake what falers be wise or keep the Links to gether and if you cant A gree Consoalated to a kingly power for you must keep to gether at the wost hear it labers ye les see there is so many men wants be the all offesers & Now sogers poor king Every day14 wants A bone sum more than other the king cant Live without the feald wee have had our turne grat good father Addoms turne & turne A bout Rest Easey you all will be pleased with the present king give time all did I say Now but the magor part fore fifths at least

TIMOTHY DEXTER

 

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